Chapter 1 — The Cast

One of the most disorienting things about a contested custody case is the number of new people who suddenly have a role in your family, often with titles nobody explained. Here’s who you might meet. Not every case has all of them, and titles, qualifications, and powers differ by state. Ask your attorney which apply to you and what each one can actually do where you live.

The judge

The decision-maker. In most custody cases there’s no jury; the judge hears the evidence, reads the reports, applies your state’s law, and decides. Judges in family court often carry very large dockets and may spend only a few hours total with your case. What reaches them is filtered through filings, reports, and testimony, which is why the professionals below matter so much.

Your attorney

Your advocate and guide. Your attorney decides strategy, handles communication with the other side and the court, prepares you for each stage, and can challenge a report or a witness. Everything in this book should be filtered through your attorney’s advice about your case.

The other parent’s attorney

Their job is to advocate for her. Expect them to emphasize your weaknesses and her strengths. It isn’t personal, though it often feels that way. Never contact them directly unless your attorney says to.

Guardian ad litem or child’s representative

In many states the court can appoint someone to look out for the children’s interests in the case. Depending on the state, this may be an attorney, a trained volunteer (sometimes called a CASA, court appointed special advocate), or a mental-health professional, and the role may be called guardian ad litem, attorney for the child, child’s representative, or something else. Some advocate for what they believe is in the children’s best interests; some represent the children’s stated wishes; some do both. What a guardian or child representative may investigate, whom they interview, whether they visit homes, and what they may report or recommend depends heavily on the jurisdiction and the appointment order.

Custody evaluator (parenting plan evaluator)

Usually a psychologist, sometimes a social worker or psychiatrist, appointed by the court or agreed to by the parties to do an in-depth evaluation of the family. Professional guidelines increasingly use the term “parenting plan evaluation.” Depending on the questions the court has asked, the evaluator, and the jurisdiction, an evaluation may include interviews, parent-child observations, psychological testing, home visits, records review, and contacts with collateral sources such as teachers and doctors. The result is usually a written report, sometimes with recommendations. Chapters 3 through 9 cover this in detail.

Parenting coordinator

In some states, a neutral professional appointed to help high-conflict parents implement a parenting plan and resolve smaller disputes without returning to court. Their authority varies widely; some can make binding decisions on limited issues, others only recommend.

Mediator

A neutral who helps the parents reach agreement. Mediators don’t decide anything. What happens in mediation is often confidential, but the rules vary.

Child protective services caseworker

If a report of abuse or neglect has been made, a state agency may investigate. That investigation is separate from the custody case, though its results can affect it. The High-Conflict Ex, Chapter 8, covers how to respond.

Therapists

Your therapist, your children’s therapist, a family or reunification therapist, perhaps a couples therapist from before the divorce. Their records may be requested and they may be asked to testify as fact witnesses about what they observed. Chapter 11 explains how that works and why their role is different from an evaluator’s.

Teachers, coaches, pediatricians, and other collaterals

People who see your children regularly may be contacted by an evaluator or guardian, or called as witnesses. Their observations can be valuable because they’re made outside the litigation and often over time.

Your own witnesses

Family members and friends who can describe your parenting. Their testimony usually carries less weight than neutral sources because they’re on your side, which is why Chapter 8 talks about choosing them carefully.

How they fit together

The judge decides. Most of the others gather information and pass it to the judge through reports or testimony. The parents and their attorneys argue about what that information means. And the children, usually without being in the courtroom at all, are the reason everyone is there.

You’ll interact with most of these people more than you’ll interact with the judge. Every one of those interactions is part of how your family will be understood.